I-Statements to help kids communicate and resolve problems.

I recently shared a post about helping children identify feelings. Before they will be able to create an I-Statement, they will need to know how to acknowledge their emotions and understand how different situations make them feel. Click here to visit the blog post.

Children may have a hard time expressing their feelings when experiencing negative emotions. They may react impulsively because of their inability to communicate verbally or place blame on others which may lead to a misunderstanding/conflict.

Whatever the case may be, teaching children how to use I-Statements is a good way to help them express themselves. It will also help to resolve a conflict because it takes the blame off of the other person and shifts it to the concern/issue, which allows for a healthy conversation.

Creating I-Statements with your students is a fun and interactive way of getting them involved and excited about learning something new! These statements are super easy and simple to make. All you need is construction paper, markers, and glue.

Take a piece of construction paper and cut it into four long rectangles. Each rectangle will represent part of the statement. Take one rectangle and write the words, I feel on it. Take another rectangle and write the words, when you. Take the third rectangle and write, because and on the last rectangle write the words, I want. See the picture below for details.

Now, it is time to make the feeling faces. Get a piece of pink, red, blue, and yellow construction paper. Draw a large circle on each piece of paper. Draw a worried face on the pink circle, an angry face on the red circle, a sad face on the blue circle, and a happy face on the yellow circle. See the picture below for details.

Activity

First, have the student manipulate the feeling faces beside the “I feel” rectangle. This will help them process their emotions.

Next, discuss with the student some things that make them feel this way. This is when the student shares what someone has done or said to make them feel that way. For example, if a student chooses the angry face, talk about what others do to make them angry.

Then, discuss/describe the reason for the feeling; this is the “because” part of the statement. For example: Why does this make you angry?

Finally, discuss the I want part of the statement. Here is where you ask, What do you want to happen or what would make you feel better?

Sample I-Message:

• I feel angry, when you laugh at me in class, because it hurts my feelings, and I want you to stop laughing at me in class.
• I feel sad, when you forget to read me a bedtime story, because I sleep better when you read to me, and I want you to read me a story every night.

In the end, the child would have created their own I-Statements using personal or realistic situations and have a tool to use to spark a healthy conversation! They will also know how to express themselves in a positive way.